Penny Thoughts ‘12—That’s My Boy (2012) *

R, 116 min.

Director: Sean Anders

Writer: David Caspe

Starring: Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, Leighton Meester, Milo Ventimiglia, Vanilla Ice, Blake Clark, Meagan Fay, Tony Orlando, Will Forte, James Caan, Rachel Dratch, Nick Swardson, Peggy Stewart, Luenell, Ciara, Ana Gasteyer, Eva Amurri Martino, Justin Weaver, Susan Sarandon, Todd Bridges, Dan Patrick, Rex Ryan

Adam Sandler is like that kid you have who just doesn’t perform as well as the others. As the child’s parent, you don’t give up on him even though everybody else only sees this failure of a human being. You know he has potential. You’ve seen it. You just wish he could show it to the rest of the world.

He’s got good ideas. He just doesn’t care enough to fully develop them. Too many of his movies are like Saturday Night Live skits that should’ve been left in the 3 minutes or less category. Unfortunately, in a feature-length format they all go on way too far past their playout point. Sandler himself doesn’t get past the sketch comedy development phase either. He uses stupid voices as if he’s one of your high school buddies imitating the principal in a way that it’s clear how little respect you all have for him. Again, this is fine for a three-minute sketch, but it wears thin before the 15-minute mark on a feature length film. And, why is this movie two hours long when most stupid comedies know to quit at the 90-minute mark?

Yet somehow, Sandler’s movies make enough money to pay big stars like Susan Sarandon and James Caan to take small roles, to resurrect lost careers of stars like Vanilla Ice and Tony Orlando, to employ other celebrities who would otherwise never act in a film like sportscaster Dan Patrick and New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan, and to extend to careers of other SNL alums like Andy Samberg, Will Forte, Ana Gasteyer, and Rachel Dratch. It’s nice that Sandler uses his monetary success in this way. I just wish he would stop fooling around and really show everybody what he can do. C’mon, boy!